The percentage (raised/rose)

Posted by Pak Guru on April 20th, 2016 | 0 comments | change, EAP, IELTS, naik menaikkan, Task 1, writing

The percentage of Australians holding a maths, science, or computing degree raised quite significantly from 10 to 18.

It’s an easy mistake to make. There are 2 verbs with similar meanings. One is transitive (must have an object), the other intransitive (no object).
 Indonesians need to consider the difference between naik and menaikkan.
In your example you use ‘to raise‘, as in ‘raise the titanic’ (V2: raised). However, you have no object, and so what you need is ‘to rise‘ (V2: rose):

• The percentage of Australians holding a maths, science, or computing degree rose quite significantly from 10 to 18.

Let me try to make a sentence using ‘to raise‘:

A combination of improved teaching methods, widespread availability of courses, student interest and governmental commitment raised the percentage of Australians holding a maths, science, or computing degree quite significantly from 10 to 18.

Possibly you were looking for a synonym for ‘to increase‘ in the hope of avoiding repetition. OK, well the synonym you’re looking for is ‘to rise‘. But ‘increase‘ is a very effective word in Task 1 writing. To avoid repetition, use ‘increase‘ both as a verb and as a noun:

• The percentage of Australians holding technical degrees increased.
• At the same time there was an increase in the percentage of women joining the  Australian workforce.